Humility or stupidity

What am I doing here? I wasnt invited. Nor, have I been accepted. Barely tolerated. My mere presence is considered to be an unessesary distraction. The imprint my foot leaves in the dirt behind me is enuff reason for these creatures to justify their frustration. It has never been my intention to cause disruption. So, I have paid special attention to cover every track I have made. In fact, I have even learned to make it through the cold nites without setting a campfire. I could choose to fly from this place today and no one would be able to prove I was ever here. As I am sure I would be gladly forgotten just as quickly.

It has never been my intention to cause disruption. If I could repair the damage I've done, I would. However, a life has been taken. I killed one of these creatures, mistaking it for food. Although, it was my last resort. As long as I remain here, I may never forget that day. As long as I remain here, these creatures may not, either. As I choose to remain here, constant attention to shifting weights between my remorse and their resentment is essential.

Others have been here before me. As their abandoned shelters and ruined attempts to make a happy life here were evident even apon my intital approach, I do believe they were at least invited at some point. Any progress I have made to build shelter has been torn apart by these creatures before Ive ever constructed anything respectable enuff for comparison to what has been left behind by others. I wonder how long they stayed. I wonder where they went. I used to wonder why they left.

So, what am I still doing here? Whats the point? Faith and humility or selfishness and stupidity. Jesus Christ had faith. So, does Charles Manson. Jesus Christ was sentenced to death and crucified by age 33. Charles Manson is still alive at almost age 80. Although different in many respects, each of us can find a rally against us. Any one of us can find a hostile heart that wants nothing more than to beat us into submission. But most importantly, what we 3 have in common is that we choose to follow our hearts.

THAT... is what I am doing here. Following my heart.